‘Mommy, I’m feeling Upset’

I’m always able to get pics like this of Matt with the kids but it’s very rare I’m in the picture unless it’s a selfie or completely planned. This though, this was spare of the moment snapped of me and C. We were on our walk and he actually wanted to walk with me and hold my hand. Which he hardly ever wants to do, like he will sometimes drop to the floor if I try to make him hold my hand anywhere, unless he’s being completely shy about something.
Today was tough, not just with him but T as well. I took them to the store today to grab a couple things for dinner and T had a complete meltdown…over what, I have no clue….but I stopped in the middle of an aisle with all three of them sat on the floor with T and rubbed her back to help calm her down until she was able to tell me what was wrong (her chicken tenders bag,that I got for her lunch, wasn’t open so she could see it). Then after naptime it was C’s turn for a meltdown, he got about halfway through it before he finally said mommy I’m feeling upset I’m ready to talk. ❤️ We took some time together in a room to talk and cuddle on the floor (he preferred it to the bed for some reason 🤷). When we were done and he said he was better, he was all hugs and giggles with me and his siblings. 🤗💛🧡
Part of me keeps nagging saying just wait for the storm after the calm that’s going to hit, not to get used to this. But after seeing this picture, that hubby was able to get for me, I really don’t care if this behavior is just for today for the next couple days. Because it’s proof that it can work and he is listening. Even if it’s taking time to sink in and him to understand, he’s still learning how to handle his emotions better than just exploding on anyone around him.
I love this little boy so much! 🧡💛💚

Wine and Games

Yesterday started out good! Kids were in decent moods, when we woke up, I had work in the morning (and that went good!) After work had to quickly go get the kids, and then meet hubby for shopping which also went very well! No meltdowns or anyone extra sad about not getting certain things they wanted.
And then we got home…….it all just went South from there. 😔 C had a huge blown out meltdown and I don’t even fully know why. It was like multiple things that set him off. But Even while my brain was like ok NVM fill us with wine I’m done for today….I still remained calm trying to convince C to talk to me, to use his words about what he needed instead of screaming at me like I killed his favorite pet or something. Good side is he didn’t call anyone stupid this time or try to hit anyone.. he just hit grocery bags as he walked by them haha. I had made pizza for dinner which he loved and calmed down for and was better for the next few hours until bedtime.

Don’t you just love when kids start saying how tired they are but as soon as you try to get them to bed it’s like instant shot of caffeine is pumping through their veins 😳😒 it’s crazy!!!! Haha but after we managed to get everyone settled down and in bed, this tired momma poured a glass of her new favorite wine 😍😋 and put in COD. It was a good way to wind down after the evening. Who knew getting screamed at for awhile was so exhausting? 😜😔

Stress….

MotherHood is a Joy; it is a blessing; there are hard days but the hugs and sloppy kisses make it worth it; you just need to breath and take care of yourself; they will grow out of it; cherish every moment cause they grow up so fast; ect…..

These were the things I was told when I became a mom, and am still told them sometimes. But what I was never told was that, there will be days where you have given it your all, you have taken care of yourself, you are trying to see the bright side and yet it still it may still feel like you are failing. There will be even harder days where it will take a little more than just a hug and kiss to make it worth it. Yes they do grow up fast, but sometimes you will think they aren’t growing up fast enough, and ‘them growing out of it’ will take way longer than some. And while it may be a blessing and joy, there will be days you will wish you could say yes to that friend to go get coffee or hang out for lunch or catch a movie at night, but you can’t because the only time they are avalible is during naptime or bedtime for kids and you’ll feel like a horrible person having to use the same reason over and over, but well it’s true the only good time for anyone else is a bad time for you, and you would rather skip out than have cranky kids.

There will also be days when you have tried everything to help out your child, to try and figure out what is wrong, but nothings seems to help and you will feel at your wits end about it. Today is one of those days…..

C has always been a little bit of my trouble child, which hasn’t been too bad, I’ve been able to manage and adjust. But lately it seems to be getting worse and I don’t know why. 😦 I feel like I am almost walking on egg shells somedays. And I feel so alone in it. Like all the parents around me seem to have great kids, sure I’ve seen and heard of some of their troubles too, but nothing like what I have had to deal with these past few months. And he’s only 3 almost 4. Now I know I’m not the only parent with a strong willed child, I’ve seen and heard of some online and stuff, but no one around me that I have seen or met. And it has made it hard, so very hard. It has gotten so bad we are thinking about taking him to a therapist, and I have been too embarassed to say that to family and friends. Like if it comes up and I tell them, it may make them think I’m being to soft or something. I don’t know. Some people say its about disapline, others say it’s attention problems, and others say it has to do with his diet and I need to take him off certain food that could be causing the anger issues. *sigh* Me, I just want my sweet boy back. I see him every so often on his good days, and sometimes after he calms down and realizes what he did and is sorry about it, and comes crying to me to say sorry and give hugs. But everyday I wonder what will trigger him? What will be his mood today? How can I help him? How can I stop it from escalating? Will he be good to take to the store or should I just stay home? Will a hugging and talking it out work today? Or will he need quiet time and some music? I never know the answer until the time comes, and it feels like I’m always guessing. It has seriously left me as a bundle of stressful tired nerves, ones that he likes to poke at.

I know we can get through this, and I still love him with all my heart. Seeing him like this breaks my heart, and somedays I just want to cry because I feel like I am failing my baby boy. But I know with some time, love and patience we will figure things out and if not get back to how things were than at least get back to a new normal and happy child.

Sorry this isn’t the happiest post I have done. Today has just been long, and well this is apart of my journey through motherhood, my life as a Mombie. And incase there is another mother out there going through the same thing or something simular, I just want you to know, you aren’t alone! ❤

The Going Ons

It has been a few weeks since I quit my job. And omg has it been hard to get going on some at home business, but hey if any of y’all are interested in Hemp Oil (It has worked wonders for my joints and headaches!!), Revital-U Coffee (which I call my Magical Coffee, I have lost 5 lbs with it this past month!!), or Plexus (Have to keep our Gut healthy and Metabolism going strong! I’ve only been doing the Pink Drink for about a week now, and have already noticed a differance in my Metabolism!) then please comment below or follow my links at the end of the post for more info!! 😀

Baseball season has started. G is loving it again this year! 😀 I’ve been keeping him updated with how the Astros are doing in their games, he gets excited when he hears that they are playing, haha. Coach J is doing a wonderful job with the team, I like him a lot better than the coach we had last year. He even keeps rotating the boys on the positions on the team to see who is better where. He’s been very encouraging and patiant with the boys, for most of them this is their first year in Machine Pitch, and I know for one of them its his first year playing baseball. One little boy accidently got hit with the ball from the machine the first night now he is scared of it, but coach has been great and understanding with him about it. G has told me several occations that he would like to play for the Astros when he gets old, I told him, it will take a lot of practice and hard work to get there if he does. ❤

I’ve been using G’s practice nights to work on my photography too. I’d love to be able to get better, especially with my sport photos. 😀 I know my camera isn’t the best in all the cameras out there but it works wonderful for what I’m doing for now. 😀 If I ever get better, then I may consider getting a newer one, but not now I still need a lot of work. (If you would like to check out any of my photos you can on my other site wordzonapg.wordpress.com or N.K Writing and Photography on facebook. Or if you have any tips, or specific subjects you think I should try to capture, please let me know!! 😀 ) New cameras are just so darn expensive! -_- My husband bought me a new laptop instead ^_^ 😀 He’s so awesome!!! ❤

Today I had to take the younger two kids to the Dr, T has bad infections in both ears and C has a lot of fluid behind his ear drums, Dr said it probably would have turned into an infection over the weekend. I know T is teething (dr confirmed it, said she is getting all 4 of her 2 y/o molars in right now) and is probably dealing with allergies too, and C I think started out with allergies too. Their Chiropractor showed me some tricks to trying and help prevent ear infections with them, but they weren’t helping this time, so figured they needed some antibiotics. Dr also said that since there was so much fluid behind C’s ears that could be why he has been acting up so much lately. 😦 The fluid would be making it very hard for him to hear, which could be frustrating for him, and making him feel off balance. Poor child. 😦

I’ve also been trying to come up with an all around go to logo for myself for anything I do but been having troubles with that too. My go to name for things is Coffee Mombie (because it fully discribes me most days lol!) but other than that I have nothing. -_-

So I have not gotten a tattoo, not from lack of sisters asking me to do so though, but recently my sister suggested that my siblings and I get a sibling tattoo. Problem is, I’m very picky and don’t want something that will lossing meaning or look ugly when I get old and wrinkled. -_- Plus the only place my husband has ever hinted at me maybe getting a tattoo is on my lower back ‘_’ *roll eyes* haha. So been hard deciding whether or not I should really get one or just get a bracelet with something meaning for each of my siblings on it.

OOH!!! Last Sunday, we took the kids to a Science Center, they loved it!!!! If you have one near you and have kids who are curious about things, I’d def recommend you going and giving it a try!! T loved the pretend hospital with all the baby dolls, and the boys loved the science things and the pretend restaurant they had there too! We will def be taking them again, and are thinking about going to one in MO when we visit my parents. 😀

Revital-U Coffee

CTFO CBD Hemp Oil

Not easy but Not impossible

Motherhood is never ‘easy’, but it does seem to get ‘easier’….. well somedays at least. It’s not impossible anyways. haha

With each passing day I watch my children grow up just a little more. My oldest, G, who used to have troubles forming proper sentences seems to have grown almost completely out of that now at the age of 6. Today He said to not pet the dog ‘because she rolled in cow poop’ this time two years ago he would have said something more like ‘the dog has yucky’ and nothing more. He’s also getting into the stage of saying what’s on his mind, like when something stinks or he does/doesn’t like something. The other night it made me so happy not only did he say that he liked dinner that I had made but he also said thank you for the yummy dinner. ❤ ❤ C is looking up to his big brother so much that he is starting to have a tendency to copy him in what he says or does.

Raising boys is such an adventure. One minute I could be trying to break up a fight or wrestling match between them, and the next they are bringing me a leaf because it’s beautiful and it’s a ‘flower’ for me. ❤